The Opium Den

2008-10-11T11:46:00.001-07:00

Obama Admits to Dual Citizenship, Media Yawns
Saying Hussein in Public Can Get You Investigated by the Secret Service!

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US Media? Overcome the Bias, Read This...

Don't Hope for a Better Country, Vote for One.
What Defines a Great Leader? You Decide

OBAMA Endorses Violence in Kenya

Remember Obama's Adopted name, Barry Soetoro?
McCain Adds a Little Humor to Our Day with This: www.barrysoetoro.com

Obama/Ayers Connection
By Dick Morris
10/07/08
In the best tradition of Bill Clinton's famous declaration that the answer to the question of whether or not he was having an affair with Monica depended on "what the definition of 'is' is," Barack Obama was clearly splitting hairs and concealing the truth when he said that William Ayers was "just a guy who lives in my neighborhood."

The records of the administration of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC), released last week by the University of Illinois, show that the Ayers-Obama connection was, in fact, an intimate collaboration and that it led to the only executive or administrative experience in Obama's life.

After Walter Annenberg's foundation offered several hundred million dollars to American public schools in the mid-'90s, William Ayers applied for $50 million for Chicago. The purpose of his application was to secure funds to "raise political consciousness" in Chicago's public schools. After he won the grant, Ayers's group chose Barack Obama to distribute the money. Between 1995 and 1999, Obama distributed the $50 million and raised another $60 million from other civic groups to augment it. In doing so, he was following Ayers's admonition to grant the funds to "external" organizations, like American Community Organizations for Reform
Now (ACORN) to pair with schools and conduct programs to radicalize the students and politicize them. Read More>>

Newsmax TV Minute Video
This Newsmax TV Minute 10.10.08 will first show an AD for An American Carol, then will go into this news:
Obama Tried to Turn Iraqis Against Bush Deal
Barack Obama met privately with Iraqi leaders to try to convince them to delay a deal on troop withdrawal until the new president take office.
Obama's campaign downplays an $833 thousand payment to ACORN for get-out-the-vote work.
ACORN reportedly tries to register a 7-year-old girl to vote and pays a Cleveland man to register 72 times. Victory for homosexuals in Connecticut.

Obama fundraiser, convicted of fraud, spills beans

by By MIKE ROBINSON, Associated Press Writer
10/11/08
CHICAGO - Jailed political fundraiser Antoin "Tony" Rezko, the Chicago real estate developer who helped launch Barack Obama on his political career, is whispering secrets to federal prosecutors about corruption in Illinois and the political fallout could be explosive.

Democratic Gov. Rod Blagojevich, whose administration faces multiple federal investigations over how it handed out jobs and money with advice from Rezko, is considered the most vulnerable.
Read More>>

Secret Service Intimidates Private Citizen for Obama
by Jessica Hughes
October 03, 2008

On Wednesday the 1st of October I received a call on my cell while in the car with my husband. It was a woman who identified herself as calling from the Obama Campaign. The phone # she called from was 903-798-6020 which lists as "Obama Volunteers of Texarkana" (Texas).

She asked if I was an Obama supporter to which I replied:

"No, I don't support him, your guy is a socialist who voted four times in the State Senate to let little babies die in hospital closets; I think you should find something better to do with your time." I hung up.

Thursday, October 2, I answered the front door to find the Secret Service. Immediately I thought of the call and was furious that apparently you are not allowed to call Obama a Socialist without the Secret Service coming to investigate. Instead, they asked me about the following comment, relayed by the Obama Volunteer of Texarkana who called me, unsolicited on my cell phone:
Read More>>

Obama Admits to Dual Citizenship and Media Yawns
by Atlas Shrugs
10/2/08

The plot thickens. The lawsuit Philip Berg filed based on (Atlas Shrugs) blockbuster expose of Obama's birth certificate forgery has taken a bizarre and disturbing twist. Why is a Presidential candidate using a terrorist lawyer. Every alliance, every allegiance .. malevolent.
Barack Hussein has recently admitted to dual citizenship ... media yawned, too busy going through Sarah Palin's trash (at least they are in their own element). How ironic that what we need is a federal elections specialist. Obama is considered an expert in this area having taught it for several years at University of Chicago law school after his stint at ACORN. Read More

Must See Videos:

ACORN in Funding Bill)

ACORN Lobbying- Lou Dobbs)

Child Rapists, Thieves and Drug Dealers Hired by ACORN)

Obama's Role In Freddie and Fannie

The Maverick Tried to Warn About Freddie and Fannie

Shocking Video: In Their Own Words, The Democrats Covering Up Freddie Mac and Fanny Mae - Who Is Pelosi Kidding?

Bush Tried to Warn About Freddie and Fannie?

The Video They REMOVED From YOUTUBE, but We're BackBurning Down the House - Dems GUILTY of Housing Bubble

Video: Read My Lipstick, Nobama

For more information on the 2008 presidential campaign and other current affairs ignored by the main stream media, catch the Clintons4McCain weekly radio show.

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Listen to Archived Shows
Sat Oct 4 WAM: Fight ACORN Now
Sat Sept 27 Votergate 2008 Exposed: Hollywood Insiders Tell All
Sat Sept 20 Media Madness: PA Journalist Clears the Air
Sat Sept 6 The Manchurian Candidate
Sat Aug 30 Days of Denver: What Really Happened
Sat Aug 23 Money Matters: The Real Financial Breakdown
Sat Aug 16 Delegate Stripped and Band of Mothers
Sat Aug 8 Meet the BOMA's, Barack Obama My Ass

Sat Aug 2 Mind Control Tricks Used to Snag Votes

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Clintons 4 McCain

2008-09-06T14:44:00.000-07:00

The Manchurian Candidate

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Katie Hastings O'Malley, a contributor to Human Events Magazine and freelance writer from the New York City area who has been a non-profit fundraiser for 15 years.

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US Media? Overcome the Bias, Read This...

So, Obama Thinks He Has Might Have More Experience Than Gov. Sarah Palin? Watch This Video and Decide

On August 7th the Anchorage Daily News quoted Obama saying "the Alaska natural gas pipeline was international cooperation."
By admitting the project is an example of working with the Canadian government, Obama admitted that Governor Sarah Palin has experience in international cooperation.

Note that Obama is endorsing a part of Palin's energy plan as well as admired the energy policy to the point that he decided to add the pipeline to his own energy plan.

The article also highlights Obama's acknowledgement that Gov. Palin's administration has taken a step toward improving the environment and creating jobs

And yet a few weeks later people from his campaign said that Palin had no experience in foreign policy? This is not consistent.

This is a perfect example of the indecision of Obama, or rather how his plans and agenda's flip-flop depending on the benefit toward his presidential campaign. If you are wondering what Obama's idea of change will be, to clarify the generic term, we offer the opinion that Obama's solution will be dependent upon who is listening at the time. His political strategic development thus far reveals, he will say whatever is needed to gain the greatest amount of votes.
Read Article>>>

The Manchurian Candidate: Obama Had Close Ties to Top Founding Member of Black Panther Organization
by Canada Free Press

New evidence has emerged that Democratic presidential candidateBarack Obama was closely associated as early as age 25 to a key adviser to a Saudi billionaire who had mentored the founding members of the Black Panthers.

By: Kenneth R. Timmerman WorthyNews.com 9-3-8

In a videotaped interview this year on New York's all news cable channel NY1, a prominent African-American businessman and political figure made the curious disclosures about Obama. (See Video Clip)

Percy Sutton, the former borough president of Manhattan, off-handedly revealed the unusual circumstances about his first encounter with the young Obama.

"I was introduced to (Obama) by a friend who was raising money for him," Sutton told NY1 city hall reporter Dominic Carter.
"The friend's name is Dr. Khalid al-Mansour, from Texas," Sutton said. "He is the principal adviser to one of the world's richest men. He told me about Obama."

Sutton, the founder of Inner City Broadcasting, said al-Mansour contacted him to ask a favor: Would Sutton write a letter in support of Obama's application to Harvard Law School?

"He wrote to me about him," Sutton recalled. "And his introduction was there is a young man that has applied to Harvard. I know that you have a few friends up there because you used to go up there to speak. Would you please write a letter in support of him?"
Sutton said he acted on his friend al-Mansour's advice.

"I wrote a letter of support of him to my friends at Harvard, saying to them I thought there was a genius that was going to be available and I certainly hoped they would treat him kindly," Sutton told NY1.
Sutton did not say why al-Mansour was helping Obama, how he discovered him, or from whom he was raising money on Obama's behalf.

A Sutton aide told Newsmax that Sutton, 88, is ailing and is unlikely to do additional TV interviews in the near future. The aide could not provide additional comment for this story.
As it turned out, Obama did attend Harvard Law School after graduating from Columbia University inNew York and doing a stint as a community organizer in Chicago.

The New York Times described how transformative his Harvard experience became for the youngObama: "He arrived there as an unknown, Afro-wearing community organizer who had spent years searching for his identity; by the time he left, he had his first national news media exposure, a book contract and a shot of confidence from running the most powerful legal journal in the country."

The details of Obama's academic performance are well known: At Harvard, Obama rose to academic distinction becoming the editor of the Harvard Law Review and graduating magna cum laude.

Less known are the reasons al-Mansour, an activist African-American Muslim, would be a key backer for a young man from Hawaii seeking to attend the most Ivy of the Ivy League law schools.
Read More>>>

Who is Barry Soetoro and Why Do You Care?
by Evelyn Adams and Cristi Adkins
Once again, we ask why the media is justified in ignoring the overwhelming evidence that Senator Obama has been less than honest with the American people. The true origins of Senator Obama is in question by many at this time and here is why.

It appears that Senator Barrack Hussein Obama Jr, or perhaps we should call him Barry Soetoro, may not have been very honest with the American people when he said he was "never a Muslim."

He has definitely not been very honest with the Media, or the Illinois State Senate for that matter, about his former name of Barry Soetoro. Barry Soetoro the name given to Obama by his step-father during his tenure in Indonesia. However, some in the media seem all too inclined to assist his cause no matter the level of deception. This is one of the great American travesties in what is now being called Votergate 08.
Read More>>

How Well Do You Know Obama? Are You Willing to Throw Him the Keys to the White House? Or, to the US Nuclear Arsenal?

Friday, August 22, 2008
How Well Do You Know Obama?
-- This is only the beginning. If Obama gets the official nomination, these ads will only get more embarrassing to the democratic party.

See the Ad HERE"

For more information on the 2008 presidential campaign and other current affairs ignored by the main stream media, catch the Clintons4McCain weekly radio show.

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Sat Aug 30 Days of Denver: What Really Happened
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Sat July 26 Obama, Anti-Christ or Just Evil?

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Clintons 4 McCain

2008-08-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

Bunkers of the DDR - Former East Germany Bunkers

2008-08-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Obama Birth Certificate a forgery?

Corsi isn't the only skeptic claiming that the document is a forgery. Among the most frequent objections we saw on forums, blogs and e-mails are:

The birth certificate doesn't have a raised seal.

It isn't signed.

No creases from folding are evident in the scanned version.

In the zoomed-in view, there's a strange halo around the letters.

The certificate number is blacked out.

The date bleeding through from the back seems to say "2007," but the document wasn't released until 2008.

The document is a "certification of birth," not a "certificate of birth."

Recently FactCheck representatives got a chance to spend some time with the birth certificate, and we can attest to the fact that it is real and three-dimensional and resides at the Obama headquarters in Chicago. We can assure readers that the certificate does bear a raised seal, and that it's stamped on the back by Hawaii state registrar Alvin T. Onaka (who uses a signature stamp rather than signing individual birth certificates). We even brought home a few photographs.

The Obama birth certificate, held by FactCheck writer Joe Miller

Alvin T. Onaka's signature stamp

The raised seal

Blowup of text

You can click on the photos to get full-size versions, which haven't been edited in any way, except that some have been rotated 90 degrees for viewing purposes.

The certificate has all the elements the State Department requires for proving citizenship to obtain a U.S. passport: "your full name, the full name of your parent(s), date and place of birth, sex, date the birth record was filed, and the seal or other certification of the official custodian of such records." The names, date and place of birth, and filing date are all evident on the scanned version, and you can see the seal above.

The document is a "certification of birth," also known as a short-form birth certificate. The long form is drawn up by the hospital and includes additional information such as birth weight and parents' hometowns. The short form is printed by the state and draws from a database with fewer details. The Hawaii Department of Health's birth record request form does not give the option to request a photocopy of your long-form birth certificate, but their short form has enough information to be acceptable to the State Department. We tried to ask the Hawaii DOH why they only offer the short form, among other questions, but they have not given a response.

The scan released by the campaign shows halos around the black text, making it look (to some) as though the text might have been pasted on top of an image of security paper. But the document itself has no such halos, nor do the close-up photos we took of it. We conclude that the halo seen in the image produced by the campaign is a digital artifact from the scanning process.

We asked the Obama campaign about the date stamp and the blacked-out certificate number. The certificate is stamped June 2007, because that's when Hawaii officials produced it for the campaign, which requested that document and "all the records we could get our hands on" according to spokesperson Shauna Daly. The campaign didn't release its copy until 2008, after speculation began to appear on the Internet questioning Obama's citizenship. The campaign then rushed to release the document, and the rush is responsible for the blacked-out certificate number. Says Shauna: "[We] couldn't get someone on the phone in Hawaii to tell us whether the number represented some secret information, and we erred on the side of blacking it out. Since then we've found out it's pretty irrelevant for the outside world." The document we looked at did have a certificate number; it is 151 1961 - 010641.

Blowup of certificate number

2008-08-23T22:52:00.001-07:00

BOMBSHELL: Barack Obama Is Not a US Citizen, Not Eligible to be US President.

Birth Certificate Found in Kenya. Citizen of Kenya and Indonesia. Hawaiian Certificate Forged, Suit Alleges.

Republicans Can Hardly Wait for Dems to Take Obama Bait
http://www.waronfreedom.org/dox/BONoUsCitizen.htm

Attorney Phil Berg speaks on his Federal Suit to Stop Obama, this week on Listen on Demand on World Crisis Radio with Webster Tarpley.

On Aug. 21st attorney Philip J. Berg requested a temporary restraining order in Federal Court against the nomination of Barack Obama, citing evidence that candidate Barack Obama is not a US citizen, and "the obvious problems that will occur when the Republican Party raises these issues after Obama is nominated." See Berg's website, http://www.ObamaCrimes.com .

Berg argues that Barack Obama was born in Kenya in 1961 to an American woman, Stanley Ann Dunham, and a Kenyan man, Barack Hussein Obama Senior, as reportedly shown by a birth certificate from Mombasa Maternity Hospital and witnessed by Barack's relatives. According to the law at that time, a parent could pass US citizenship on to a child born abroad if the parent was at least 19 years old. Obama's mother was only 18.

No hospital birth certificate has been produced to prove Obama was born in Hawaii, only a certificate of birth registry after the fact, which forensics experts have denounced as a forgery. New photos of the certificate were posted on the Internet on Aug. 21st at FactCheck.org, which is a project of the Annenberg Center, a longtime sponsor of Obama. It is quite suspicious in itself that the "facts" are not being "checked" by an independent source, and that only a short-form certificate without the name of the hospital is shown. Barack's mother could have flown from Kenya to Hawaii right after the birth, then reported that she had the child at home, in order to secure her son's US citizenship. The judge needs to subpoena Hawaiian officials to provide an original hospital report of birth.

Moreover, when Obama was six years old his mother remarried and moved with her husband to his country, Indonesia. Records indicate Obama was naturalized as an Indonesian citizen. Indonesia does not allow dual nationality, so even had he been born in Hawaii, he would have lost his citizenship then.

See http://www.waronfreedom.org/dox/BO-NO-Citizen-BriefFacts.htm for factual background of Berg's suit.

Even if Obama is able to provide a US birth certificate, a dozen more insurmountable scandals face this unelectable candidate, which the Republicans can hardly wait to unleash on him after he is nominated.

1. When Obama recently made an issue of the number of houses the McCains own, McCain shot back with much heavier artillery: Obama's friend Rezko is a convicted felon, sitting in jail. Obama is the candidate of Chicago corruption. His other cronies Auchi and Alsammare are also convicted felons who have stolen hundreds of millions from the Iraqi Provisional authority and from the government in Illinois. This has been detailed by investigative journalist Evelyn Pringle on opednews, and by Webster Tarpley in his forthcoming book, "Barack H. Obama: the Unauthorized Biography."

2. Obama has very close links to the convicted Weathermen terrorist bombers Bill Ayres and Bernardine Dohrn. He shared board memberships with Ayres on the Woods Fund and the Chicago Annenberg Challenge. This and most of the following scandals are detailed in Tarpley's "Obama – The Postmodern Coup: Making of a Manchurian Candidate," released in June.

3 Obama is very close to the racist demagogues Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Otis Moss III, Hopkins, Meeks, and Pfleger.

4 Obama has been accused in Federal Court of using crack cocaine by Larry Sinclair, along with gay sex. The Obama camp retaliated by arresting Sinclair in an enemies list operation by Beau Biden, son of veep candidate Joe Biden.

5. The mysterious deaths of black gays in and around Wright's Church: Donald Young, Nate Spencer, Larry Bland could be linked to Obama.

6. Obama's relations to Chechen Terrorism through Ilyas Achmadov.

7. His relations to CIA-controlled Palestinian factions Khalidi and Abu Nimah.

8. The mysterious deaths of key Clinton delegates and floor leaders just before the convention: Bill Gwatney and Tubbs Jones.

9. The alleged Michelle Obama Hate Whitey tape.

10. Then of course there is the problem that Obama is a very weak candidate as regards appeal across the spectrum. In the primaries Obama was not able to carry any of the big Blue states that a Democrat has to win in the electoral college for the general election.

Obama is not able to appeal to the electorate on the issues, only on his personality. His attempt to appear populist fails since he is in fact the puppet of the right-wing Chicago School and revanchist Brzezinski faction. Instead of offering what the great majority of Americans want, peace abroad and fixing the economy at home, he will deliver increased austerity. The war in Georgia shows that the post-9/11 era has now ended with a new cold war against Russia, inspired by Obama's guru Brzezinski.

As Tarpley points out, Obama has never won a real election contest; his way has always been smoothed by engineered scandals.

But this time the scandals are set to go the other way.

The Democrat National Committee has to be certified insane if they nominate Obama. There is no way he can beat "war hero" McCain with a ton of dirty laundry like this around his neck.

And even that pales beside the blamage, the loss of face for the Democrats if they nominate a candidate who is not even a US citizen, thus giving the election by default to the Republicans. That would be the final insult to what is left of the two-party system.
By the way, John McCain was born outside the US, on a US military base in the Canal Zone, but an act of Congress in the 1930's accorded citizenship to all children born to US parents in the Canal Zone. In Barack Obama's case his citizenship hinges mainly on whether or not he was born in the US.

#30#

Tarpley's publisher, Progressive Press, is offering a free PDF file of Obama: The Postmodern Coup to all bloggers and book reviewers - especially before the nomination next week! Contact info@progressivepress.com

2008-08-23T14:57:00.001-07:00

Team-

Just hours ago Senator Barack Obama announced he has chosen Senator Joe Biden as his running-mate, adding his own harshest critic to the Democratic ticket. Senator Obama's choice in a running-mate once again brings up his questionable judgment when faced with making major decisions.

Senator Biden doesn't believe that Senator Obama is ready to serve as president. When asked about Senator Obama's lack of experience he said, "The presidency is not something that lends itself to on-the-job training." The fact is, there has been no harsher critic of Senator Obama's lack of readiness to serve than his new running-mate, Senator Joe Biden.

Senator Biden has long been a leading critic of Senator Obama's lack of foreign policy experience. He's criticized Senator Obama for his lack of leadership and judgment on Iraq, Afghanistan and his commitment to meet unconditionally with the leaders of rogue states.

We can't risk electing Senator Barack Obama in November and you can make a difference today. Will you make an immediate donation of $25, $50, $150, $250, $500, $1,000 or even $2,300 to our campaign? The money we raise today will go directly to getting the word out - when faced with difficult decisions; Senator Obama lacks the judgment to be our next president and he's simply not ready to lead.

John McCain has made tough, but necessary judgment calls throughout his entire career - always putting country before self interest. He has the experience necessary to serve as our next Commander in Chief. He's ready to lead - ready to put your needs above his own, but he won't win in November without your immediate support. Please join our campaign by making a donation right away.

Sincerely,
Rick Davis
Campaign Manager

P.S. Senator Obama has chosen Senator Joe Biden as his running-mate; a man who doesn't believe he's ready to lead as president. Senator Obama's poor judgment calls indicate he's not ready to lead as president. It's essential for our next president to have good judgment and to put the needs of others above all else. And that friends, is what John McCain has done and is prepared to do for all of us. Please join us today by making a generous donation to ensure a McCain Victory in November.

Please visit this page if you want to remove yourself from the email list.

2008-05-30T15:24:00.001-07:00

Dear Sean,

Have you seen the general election polls lately? They consistently show that we'll beat John McCain in November. In a national head-to-head match and in the critical swing states, the numbers show I'm the best candidate to take back the White House for Democrats.

That is why it's critical that we stay in this race and keep fighting for every last vote. We can win the nomination if we extend our popular vote lead, and that means putting everything we have into the final races. With just a few days before the voters in Puerto Rico head to the polls, our campaign is working hard -- and your support is making the difference.

Every vote matters. I need you to help today and join our matching program. When you give today, a supporter will match your contribution and double its impact, making your $25 gift worth $50 or your $50 gift worth $100.

Contribute today to have twice the impact on the final primary races.

In the past 24 hours, thousands of you have given generously to our campaign, and I'm so delighted to see your incredible commitment.

With your help, we're going to keep driving forward to victory, and there's no better time to help than right now. By making a contribution today, you'll double your impact when your gift is matched.

Contribute today, and your gift will be matched.

Thank you for putting your heart and spirit into this campaign. I couldn't do it without you.

Sincerely,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

2008-05-29T14:41:00.001-07:00

My Friends,

I have long said that this election will present the American people with a clear choice in electing our next president. The differences between my vision for national security leadership and that of Senator Obama's could not be greater, and this is why I am writing to you today.

I think you all know that this war has been long, hard and tough. And it has meant enormous sacrifice on the part of Americans in blood and treasure. But after four years of a badly mismanaged war, our new strategy is succeeding and we are now winning in Iraq thanks to the service and sacrifice of the brave Americans who are serving.

I have visited Iraq on many occasions because I think the most vital decision that any President of the United States can make has got to be about the security of this nation and the lives of the young Americans who are serving.

But I cannot say the same of one of my opponents, Senator Barack Obama. He has only been to Iraq once, on a trip two years ago. Senator Obama speaks openly about his willingness to sit down with our enemies and engage in open talks, but he hasn't gone to Iraq in over two years to meet with our leaders and see that progress is being made on the ground. Something is wrong with your judgment when you want to sit down unconditionally with Raul Castro and Iran's President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, but you don't take the opportunity to sit down with General Petraeus and learn about the situation in Iraq firsthand. My friends, this is not the "change" we need in our next president.

Our next president cannot just talk about leadership; they must demonstrate it. Senator Obama is the chairman of an important subcommittee that has oversight of our efforts in Afghanistan. Yet he has not held one hearing on Afghanistan, a place where young Americans are in harm's way every day. When a chairman of a subcommittee can't lead, it's bad; when a president doesn't lead, it's unacceptable.

I am convinced that my experience, knowledge and every challenge I have confronted during my years of service to our country and its ideals make me better able to lead and ready to serve as our Commander in Chief on day one. That is why I am asking you to make a financial contribution of $50, $100, $250, $500, or any amount up to the limit of $2,300 right away. Our national security is too important to hand over to someone who does not have the knowledge or experience to make judgment calls on Iraq. Thank you.

Sincerely,

John McCain

P.S. My friends, it's clear Senator Obama was driven to his position on the War in Iraq by his ideology and not by the facts on the ground. He does not have the knowledge or experience to make the judgments necessary to keep our Nation safe, prosperous and strong. Presidents have to listen and learn. Presidents have to make judgments no matter how popular or unpopular they may be. I believe I am better prepared to make these judgments, leading our country as your next president, and I ask that you make a financial contribution right away to my campaign so that I am able to take my message of experience to the American people. Thank you.

2008-05-28T15:46:00.001-07:00

ear Sean,

This Sunday, voters in Puerto Rico will go to the polls and make their voices heard -- the first time the island has played such a vital role in selecting our party's nominee. At this critical moment, I am depending on you to help me make sure they have a choice. We are depending on the voters of Puerto Rico in our fight to secure the nomination.

It doesn't matter what the pundits say. You and I know this race is up to the voters, and I'm going to keep fighting for every last vote. That's why it is so important that we get voters to the polls over the next few days -- and we can't do that without your help.

Over the next four days, we have the opportunity to make history in the Puerto Rico primary -- and win the national primary vote by redoubling our efforts. That's why a group of supporters has agreed to match contributions today from new donors -- meaning every dollar you give is worth double. Your $50 gift is worth $100, your $25 gift is worth $50 -- even a donation as small as $5 will have twice the impact.

Contribute today, and your donation will go twice as far toward helping us make history.

Puerto Rico isn't the only important deadline our campaign faces. The final two races -- in South Dakota and Montana -- are just six days away. And this Saturday marks another crucial end-of-month fundraising deadline.

And with the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee's decision on Florida and Michigan also coming Saturday, there has never been a more important time to keep our campaign moving forward.

We can finish the primary races strong and win the nomination, but only with your help. And because your contribution today is worth double, today is a great time to give.

Double your impact by making a contribution today.

Throughout the course of this campaign, your support has made the difference time and time again. Now we are facing the last few primaries together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thank you for everything,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

2008-05-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Sean,

Once again tonight, you and I stood together and showed America what we're made of.

Every time we win another state, we prove something about ourselves and about our country. And did we ever prove something tonight in Kentucky.

We showed America that the voters know what the "experts" will never understand -- that in our great democracy, elections are about more than candidates running, pundits commenting, or ads blaring.

They're about every one of us having his or her say about the path we choose as a nation. The people of Kentucky have declared that this race isn't over yet, and I'm listening to them -- and to you.

Your unshakeable commitment to that principle and your willingness to keep forging ahead inspire me every day. Let's keep supporting one another in these crucial days ahead.

All the best,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

2008-05-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

Go Hillary Go all the way to Denver

Dear Sean,

There are some people out there who want to declare this race over now, before all the ballots have been counted or even cast. There are some who say they don't know why I'm in this race. So let me tell you why I'm still running.

I'm in this race for everyone who needs a champion. For the hardworking families who are losing sleep over gas prices and grocery costs and mortgage payments and medical bills -- but who never lose that American can-do spirit and optimism.

I'm in this race for the more than 16 million people like you who have supported me -- for the people who have put their hearts into winning this race. You never gave up on me, and I'll never give up on you.

We are in the homestretch. After sixteen months, there are only three weeks left to compete in the final contests. With your help I'm going to keep fighting until every last American has a chance to be heard, and as we learned last night in West Virginia, I know we can win.

Contribute now to keep our campaign going strong.

I'm also in this race because I have the best chance of beating John McCain in November and putting America on the right track.

We proved something in West Virginia last night -- a state every Democratic president has won since 1916. And we proved something in a few other battleground states that have a history of picking presidents. Pennsylvania. Ohio. Arkansas. New Hampshire. New Jersey. New Mexico. Nevada. And, yes, Michigan and Florida.

I am in this race, and so are you, because we both know the stakes in this election are too high to stay on the sidelines.

So let's keep going together, you and me. Let's keep driving our campaign forward, and let's keep winning.

Make a contribution today to help me win.

I want to thank you again for the incredible generosity of spirit you have shown over the course of this campaign. Together, you and I are going to make history.

Thank you,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

2008-04-24T14:55:00.001-07:00

Dear Sean,

The night of our great Pennsylvania victory, my thoughts turned to all the people who had worked so hard and given so much to make that celebration possible. And I knew that, as our campaign moves forward, you and I would continue to work side-by-side, to sustain each other, and to win together.

I recorded a special message for my online supporters that evening, and I'd like you to take a look. And I hope that you will make a contribution today to keep our incredible momentum from Pennsylvania going -- straight through to Pennsylvania Avenue!

Click here to watch the video and make a contribution to drive our campaign forward.

Thank you so much for everything.

Sincerely,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

2008-04-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

Record sale naked Carla Bruni pic

Michael Comte

A naked photograph of Carla Bruni has been snapped up for £45,000. The First Lady of France was none too impressed when the photographed surfaced the day before she accompanied her husband, French president Nicolas Sarkozy, on a state trip to Britain. But a Chinese art collector will be very pleased it did ? he (or she) got a buyer to snap it up for £45,000 at Christie's in New York - 22 times the estimated price. The image of Bruni was taken by photographer Michael Comte in 1993, when she was a top model. The nude pic didn't, however, spoil her trip to England - the nation fell in love with her sophisticated Dior ensembles and so, by all accounts, did

Gordon Brown.

2008-04-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

Obama Files

2008-03-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

Houston UFO Sighting

Houston UFO Sighting - For more amazing video clips, click here

2008-02-26T10:07:00.000-08:00

Jimmy Kimmel Is Fucking Ben Affleck

The long-running "feud" between Matt Damon and late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel reached new heights earlier this month when Damon shot a video in which Kimmel's comedian girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, declared she was "fucking Matt Damon." Immediately after the Oscars last night, Kimmel fired back with a truly epic effort called "I'm fucking Ben Affleck," which included appearances from celebrities like Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams and Huey Lewis, to name just a few. The Kimmel-Damon fight is, of course, wholly manufactured, but at least has been consistently funny, starting with Kimmel's regular end-of-show gag, "Apologies to Matt Damon, we've run out of time," and extending through to Damon's on-air tantrum about getting bumped and two gags involving Kimmel's special correspondent, Guillermo. Kimmel's latest Ben Affleck video takes the joke to new lengths -- and new heights in the art of free PR:

Celebrities included in the video, according to Kimmel's people: Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams, Huey Lewis, Rebecca Romijn, Macy Gray, Pete Wentz, Dominic Monaghan, Joel and Benji Madden, Josh Groban, Christina Applegate, Meat Loaf, Perry Farrell, Lance Bass, Joan Jett and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Plus a gospel choir and whoever the delivery man was -- an unnamed "superstar."

2008-02-18T15:34:00.000-08:00

BECAUSE OF JESUS DEATH HAS NO VICTORY OVER ME ~ 1 COR. 15:55
BECAUSE OF JESUS I CAN TAKE OFF THE GRAVE CLOTHES ~ JOHN 11:14
BECAUSE OF JESUS I AM MADE NEW ~ 2 COR. 5:17
BECAUSE OF JESUS I WILL LIVE FOREVER ~ JOHN 3:15

2007-07-24T16:06:00.001-07:00

Lohan Hit With Drug and Alcohol Arrest

Lindsay Lohan, seen here in a booking mug released by the Santa Monica police department on Tuesday, July 24, 2007, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Tuesday, authorities said.

SANTA MONICA, Calif. (AP) - The troubled saga of Lindsay Lohan took another turn Tuesday when police booked her on suspicion of drunken driving and cocaine possession after a frightened woman dialed 911 to report being chased by Lohan's SUV.

Less than two weeks out of rehab, with another drunken-driving case pending, Lohan had a blood-alcohol level of between 0.12 and 0.13 percent when police found her about 1:30 a.m., Sgt. Shane Talbot said. The legal limit for driving in California is 0.08.
Lohan attorney Blair Berk said her client had relapsed and was again receiving medical care.

Her appearance Tuesday on "The Tonight Show" was canceled.
"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease," Berk said.The movie star was booked for investigation of driving under the influence and driving on a suspended license, both misdemeanors, and possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, both felonies, authorities said.

Authorities received a 911 call from the mother of Lohan's former personal assistant, said Lt. Alex Padilla. The assistant had just quit hours before, he said.

"The mother was afraid," Padilla said. "She wasn't quite sure what was going on so she called the police saying she wanted to make sure everything was going to be OK."

The woman apparently didn't realize it was Lohan who was behind her, Padilla said.

Police said the woman drove her black Cadillac Escalade into the parking lot of Santa Monica's Civic Auditorium, about a block away from the Santa Monica Police Department, followed by Lohan driving a Yukon sport utility vehicle. Authorities arrived and saw Lohan and the woman in "heated debate," Padilla said. Two males were with Lohan in the 2004 Yukon, including the owner of the vehicle, Padilla said. The mother had just one passenger and it wasn't her daughter, Padilla said, correcting earlier police statements.

Padilla said the 21-year-old Lohan was unable to walk a straight line, touch her nose or follow a small light with her eyes. Officers also detected the smell of alcohol, Padilla said.

During a pre-booking search, police found cocaine in one of Lohan's pants pockets, Talbot said.
Several hours later, Lohan was released on $25,000 bail.
Padilla said he didn't know why Lohan was trying to catch the woman, whom he didn't name.

Last week, Lohan turned herself in to Beverly Hills police to face allegations of driving under the influence in connection with a Memorial Day weekend hit-and-run crash.

Lohan was about a month shy of the legal drinking age when she lost control of her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible and crashed into a curb and shrubs on Sunset Boulevard, police said. Lohan's blood-alcohol level at the time of that crash was above the legal limit, authorities said, but they wouldn't disclose how high it was. She also faces a misdemeanor charge of hit and run in that case.

A court date was scheduled in that case for Aug. 24.
Lohan left Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility on July 13, after a stay of more than six weeks. She had also checked into rehab for substance abuse treatment in January.

When she left, Lohan agreed to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet, publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik said.

"In part she is wearing the bracelet so there are no questions about her sobriety if she chooses to go dancing or dining in a place where alcohol is served," Zelnik said in a statement at the time.
Lohan - whose latest movie, "I Know Who Killed Me," is coming out Friday - had been tested daily in order to support her sobriety, Berk said.
"Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed," Berk said. "The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

Lohan's estranged father, Michael Lohan, said he was worried about his daughter even though they have a "troubled relationship." In a statement issued through his New York attorney, he also suggested he and his wife Dina, who are separated, rally to help her, putting their own "legal battle aside for the good of our children."

Michael Lohan was released from prison in March after serving nearly two years for attempted assault and driving while intoxicated.
---
Associated Press Writer Jeff Wilson contributed to this report.

2007-07-24T16:06:00.000-07:00

The mother was afraid," Padilla said. "She wasn't quite sure what was going on so she called the police saying she wanted to make sure everything was going to be OK."
The woman apparently didn't realize it was Lohan who was behind her, Padilla said.
Police said the woman drove her black Cadillac Escalade into the parking lot of Santa Monica's Civic Auditorium, about a block away from the Santa Monica Police Department, followed by Lohan driving a Yukon sport utility vehicle. Authorities arrived and saw Lohan and the woman in "heated debate," Padilla said. Two males were with Lohan in the 2004 Yukon, including the owner of the vehicle, Padilla said. The mother had just one passenger and it wasn't her daughter, Padilla said, correcting earlier police statements.
Padilla said the 21-year-old Lohan was unable to walk a straight line, touch her nose or follow a small light with her eyes. Officers also detected the smell of alcohol, Padilla said.

(AP) Lindsay Lohan poses in this November 2006 file photo in Los Angeles. Lohan, who just finished a...Full ImageThe movie star was booked for investigation of driving under the influence and driving on a suspended license, both misdemeanors, and possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, both felonies, authorities said.
During a pre-booking search, police found cocaine in one of Lohan's pants pockets, Talbot said.
Several hours later, Lohan was released on $25,000 bail.
Padilla said he didn't know why Lohan was trying to catch the woman, whom he didn't name.
Last week, Lohan turned herself in to Beverly Hills police to face allegations of driving under the influence in connection with a Memorial Day weekend hit-and-run crash.
Lohan was about a month shy of the legal drinking age when she lost control of her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible and crashed into a curb and shrubs on Sunset Boulevard, police said. Lohan's blood-alcohol level at the time of that crash was above the legal limit, authorities said, but they wouldn't disclose how high it was. She also faces a misdemeanor charge of hit and run in that case.
A court date was scheduled in that case for Aug. 24.
Lohan left Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility on July 13, after a stay of more than six weeks. She had also checked into rehab for substance abuse treatment in January.
When she left, Lohan agreed to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet, publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik said.
"In part she is wearing the bracelet so there are no questions about her sobriety if she chooses to go dancing or dining in a place where alcohol is served," Zelnik said in a statement at the time.
Lohan - whose latest movie, "I Know Who Killed Me," is coming out Friday - had been tested daily in order to support her sobriety, Berk said.
"Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed," Berk said. "The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."
Lohan's estranged father, Michael Lohan, said he was worried about his daughter even though they have a "troubled relationship." In a statement issued through his New York attorney, he also suggested he and his wife Dina, who are separated, rally to help her, putting their own "legal battle aside for the good of our children."
Michael Lohan was released from prison in March after serving nearly two years for attempted assault and driving while intoxicated.
---
Associated Press Writer Jeff Wilson contributed to this report.
(This version CORRECTS spelling of publicist's middle name

2007-07-15T00:56:00.000-07:00

The worlds tallest man, Bao Xishun, who stands 7 feet 9 inches tall, shakes hands with Pingping, who is 2 feet 4 inches tall, Friday in Baotou, China. Pingping, 19, is applying for the Guinness World Record as the worlds shortest man.

2007-07-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

Man's Best Friend?

A guy is driving around the back woods of Arkansas and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings
the
bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting
there. "So ... you talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

The guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, and then says "Okay.
So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that Icould talk when I was
pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they
had me jetting from country to country,sitting in rooms with spies and
world leaders; because no one figured a dog
would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for many
years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
to do
some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening
in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is utterly amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars?!?!?" "But this dog is amazing!
Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damned liar. He never did any of that shit."

2007-07-07T10:48:00.000-07:00

Filthy Pigs

A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.

The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"

"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.

So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.

Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.

"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had sex with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.

"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"

2007-06-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

I am going to name my dog this

Body: A Dog Named Sex Usually everyone who has a dog either calls him "Rover" or "spot". I call my dog SEX. Well, SEX is very embarrassing name. One day I took SEX for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for SEX. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4:00 am and I said I am looking for SEX (my case comes up next Thursday).

One day I went to City Hall to get a license for SEX, The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him a license for SEX. He said HE would like one too. Then I said, but this is a dog, and he said he didn't care how she looked. Then I said you don’t understand, I have had SEX since I was 5 years old. He looked at me very strangely.

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I wanted to have SEX at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said but SEX has played a big part of my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around SEX. He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and he would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having SEX there too. The next day we were married by the justice of the peace. My family is now barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoon, when we checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for SEX. The clerk said that every hotel room is a room for SEX. Then I said "you don't understand SEX keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said me too. One day I told my friend that I had SEX on TV and she called me a show off. I told her it was a dog contest and she told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of SEX. I said your honor I had SEX before I got married and the judge said me too. Well now I have been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with SEX than I ever gambled for.

Just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me what the problem was. I replied SEX has died and left my life, it is like losing my best friend and I’m lonely. The doctor said look honey, you and I both know SEX isn't a man’s best friend so get yourself a dog .

2007-06-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

From: kim
Date: Jun 8, 2007 8:35 AM

From: ~ SASSY ANGEL~
Date: Jun 8, 2007 8:29 AM

You will not see this heart-stopping photo on the front
page of the NY Times or on the lead story of the major news networks. The protestors put up the Mexican flag over the American flag flying upside down at Montebello High School in California .

I predict this stunt will be the nail in the coffin of
any guest-worker/amnesty plan on the table in Washington. The image of the American flag subsumed to another and turned upside down on American soil, is already spreading on Internet forums and via E-mail.

Pass this along to every American citizen in your address books and to every representative in the state and federal government. If you choose to remain uninvolved, do not be amazed when you no longer have a nation to call your own nor anything you have worked for is left since it will be "redistributed" to the activists while you are so peacefully staying out of the "fray". Check history, it is full of nations/empires that disappeared when its citizens no longer held their core beliefs and values. One person CAN make a difference.

One plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one.........

The battle for our secure borders and immigration laws
that actually mean something, however, hasn't even begun.

If this ticks YOU off... PASS IT ON

AND OUR FLAG IS UPSIDE DOWN...WTF DUMB ASSES....

2007-05-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

Tenn. Teacher Pamela Rogers Turner sends sexy videos to Student Wheew She is Hot!!!!!!!

Here is her MySpace Addy

http://www.myspace.com/msbasketball23

Here is a downloaded copy of that page that violated her Parole and landed her in prison for 8 more years.

http://badjocks.com/pamela-myspace.htm

The following is from Bad Jocks

The Complete Pamela Rogers Turner Story From Day One (start at the bottom and work you way up!)

CNN's Nancy Grace Finally Catches Up - It's always nice when members of the mainstream media finally pick up on a story BadJocks has been covering for, oh, almost two years now. On Saturday night, January 20, The Shrieker devoted an entire hour to the "latest" high school teacher/coach to be sent to jail for sex with an underage student. Latest, as in the fact that our Pamela was sentenced more than a week ago (January 10) to two addition years in jail for sending sexy videos (see below) and nudie pictures to her 14-year-old victim AFTER she was out on probation the first time. Why this story finally surfaced to the top of Grace's pot is anyone's guess, but it certainly follows her recent tirades about hot female teachers getting lighter sentences than their male counterparts for these types of offenses. Go get 'em Nancy, and thanks for the extra traffic!

Thieves Steal Lottery Tickets From Convenience Store, Return Later to Claim Winnings - Now THAT'S stupid. Details and more stories of stupidity at Bob Reno's DumbassDaily.com.

Breaking BadJocks News: Pamela Rogers Pleads Guilty to Sending Naked Pics to Boy - In the latest example of GBH (Guilty, But Hot) former middle school gym teacher Pamela Rogers has pleaded guilty to new charges stemming from her parole violation last spring. As BadJocks readers already know, the hot blonde Rogers pleaded guilty once to having a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old boy and served but 7 months of an 8 year term before being paroled. As part of her probation, she was to have NO contact with the victim. What did she do? Set up a MySpace page that appeared to be an obvious attempt to reach out to him and his sister and also sent him several sexy videos and still pictures. Well, those little things got her thrown back in jail where she will not only serve the full term of her remaining 8 years, but also two 2-year terms for solicitation of sexual exploitation of a minor. Rogers pleaded guilty to those charges, in exchange for agreeing to drop an appeal of her earlier sentence, she had two additional counts she was facing have been dismissed. Rogers appeared in court in a not-so-hot black and white striped prison jumpsuit, and from the pictures I've seen, the natural brown color of her hair is coming back. On the plus side fellas, she will be available for parole again in 2008. Start writing those prison pen-pal letters today! (The Tennessean)

Was That Fidel Castro on American Idol? A shaggy haired, bearded guy makes his way to Hollywood while maintaining an uncanny resemblance to . . . Fidel Castro? You have to see it to believe it! Afterwards, you'll be telling your friends -- YouGottaSeeThisVideo!

Check out the BadJocks Main Page for more stories like this!

Can You Really Beat a Speeding Ticket? It happens to everyone . . . but not everyone pays their fines. Beat ANY speeding ticket.

Join Our Free Mailing List! Be the first on your block to get tips on breaking stories, inside information about the latest bad jocks. Click here for details.

Grand Jury Indicts Pamela Rogers on Four New Felony Counts Over Nude Pictures - It has not been a good week for our favorite hot blonde former gym teacher, Pamela Rogers. On Friday she is scheduled to go before a judge who will decide if she violated probation after being released from her outrageously short 6 month stint in jail for having sex with a 13-year-old boy. For allegedly sending him sexy pictures and videos and creating a MySpace page to get his attention, Pam could be forced to serve out the full length of her original sentence, 7 years. But wait--like a bad infomercial--there's more! A grand jury has also decided that sending nude pictures of herself to the boy from her cell phone constitutes a whole new set of crimes. If convicted of those 4 new felonies (an adult sending pornographic images to a minor), it could result in an additional 8 years in jail. That means that, if convicted, the 28-year-old probably won't get out of prison until she's almost 43. Let's all bow our heads for a moment of silence. (Tennessean,com) In a related story, lawyers for Mary Kay Letourneau say that if Rogers become pregnant by her boy toy they will sue her for copyright infringement.

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UPDATE: Mommy, Mommy, Can I Get a Pamela Rogers Doll? A reader sent us the link to this, uh, "action figure" for sale on eBay: it's a handmade Pamela Rogers doll, based on her recent cell phone video performance. (Part of the "Whores in the News" series, apparently) Here's the description from the auction: Six inch scale, this is a one of a kind sculpted in polymer clay. She is not articulated comes packaged with stand. This is the only one. She is sculpted in her cell phone video tease outfit that landed her back in the joint. I hope you enjoy her as much as I had fun creating her. I am not sure i have ever laughed so hard.
We laughed pretty hard when we say it, too! The folks at Spectre Studios seem to have captured her vacant stare pretty well, haven't they? The starting bid is $99.99 and at that price it'd make a great Mother's Day present, wouldn't it? Check out the auction here. (Thanks to Meagan for the link!)

It's Here! We Have One of the Racy Pamela Rogers Cell Phone Videos That Got Her Re-Arrested - WKRN TV confirms that what BadJocks has obtained is, in fact, one of the many sexually suggestive videos that our favorite hot blonde gym teacher sent to her underage victim AFTER she was released on parole and told specifically not to have contact with him. This story originally broke almost a month ago with her arrest for creating a MySpace page that appeared to be a thinly veiled attempt to contact the boy. Once that was discovered, police got a warrant for phone records, which led to her subsequent re-arrest for sending text messages and sexually explicit videos to the 15-year-old athlete. (According to some legal sources, the video clips not only violate the terms of her original probation, they also may constitute some new felonies, which could mean even longer jail time than her original sentence. UPDATE: The folks at YouTube have finally created a Flash version of the cell phone video making it much easier for everyone to watch so you no longer need Quicktime or a computer degree to view it. And one more thing . . . our source for this video claims there are 20 more just like it out there. How many more do you think we'll be able to get our sweaty palms on? Please check back later in the week.

Any questions?

Click here to go to the BadJocks main page to read about the latest high school coach sex scandals!

More Pamela Rogers News and Pictures Below

Hot Blonde Gum Teacher Update: God Bless Her Slutty Little Heart! Pamela Rogers Arrested AGAIN for Contacting Teenaged Victim, Sending Him Sexually Explicit Videos and Text Messages - Click here to get the full story on her most recent arrest on the BadJocks.com main page.

Earlier: We Found It! The MySpace Page That Got Pamela Rogers Arrested For Violating Parole - MySpace pulled the plug but not before we downloaded it. Unfortunately, the links to some of the pictures she posted no longer work, but we have them and have posted some below. Click here to see the page. (Her lone blog entry is further down this page after the pics.) At right, "PJ's" profile picture in which she claimed to be from Paris, France.
The text on the page also seems to show a similar theme: no remorse, no one understands her but #23 (the victim's jersey number?) and she wishes people would not judge her and just leave her alone. She also finds ways to include "him" in her comments, whether it's about movies or her heroes . . . like Jesus, who also had to take a lot of crap. Here's a little rant from the bottom of her page:
I guess I can use this space to allow this picture to say to the media...

. . . maybe they will respect people's privacy one day... That also goes out to all the haters, people that just are rude and dislike people that they don't even know! People think that they KNOW me, but there are only a few that truly do....Southern Slander Suckz!!! I mean, don't these people remember the story in the Bible about "letting the first one without sin cast the first stone?"
Please Note: While we can't be 100% sure that Ms. Rogers created this page, we have been lead to believe from published reports that a page like this was the reason for her arrest. Most of the pictures on her MySpace page have not been seen elsewhere, we can only assume she or a family member placed them there.
EARLIER: Breaking BadJocks News: Pamela Rogers Turner Arrested for Probation Violation - Details are still sketchy, but it appears that our favorite hot blonde middle school gym teacher is at it again. Rogers, who avoided jail time after admitting having sex with a 13-year-old boy, was arrested when she reported to her probation officer this week. Her crime? Creating a MySpace page with several pictures of herself including several of her wearing a bikini. A blog on the site also included what was may be communication between Rogers and the victim's 17-year-old sister, a violation of her parole where she was not to have ANY contact with the victim or his family. To make matters worse, Rogers is also accused of issuing a cryptic message to the victim by addressing his basketball jersey number, saying "he was her hero and that she would not fall in love again for three years." (Knoxville News) Thanks to Mike Hayden for the link! (personal web page, blog)

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Pictures from Pamela Rogers MySpace Page. Not sure why they are blurry, this is how they appeared on her page as well. Sorry.

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The one blog entry from Pamela's page, which appears to have been created on March 30, 2006.

Hey....

I am just trying this out. I guess I will end up talking about many funny moments, in hopes that some of the people that were in the memories, will respond....

If you know me, think of some hilarious moment that we were fortunate enough to share together... lol... what is one of the funny moments? There are so many friends who have been with me sooooo many different times to really even begin to cover these times, but I will give someone a head start.... Of all the embarrassing, funny, and "omigoodness!" moments, I guess one sticks out above the others and it is based in Morgan County... :) It has to do with a train and a railroad bridge, a 100 MPH chase of hide and seek (we were trying to hide), urine, and fluid running down legs wearing a skirt.... it has to be the NIGHT of nights to try to forget or die trying....

I have so many memories from Tech... good and bad. And Cumberland, too. Like one of the times that the van that half of the team was traveling on ran out of gas, and we were stranded on the side of the Interstate..... coach was nowhere in sight. And the many friends that I made along the way.... And all of the schools that I taught at and the many students that I adored, which was all, no matter how mean or badly behaved.... :) I miss everyone, but I guess things change.

If you are one of my close "cool peoples", add one of your favoite funny, scary, or memorable memories that we had, and I will elaborate.... Happy Remembering....

Love Always,

PJ

3:03 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Andrew

Who was that lady we had for the teaching practicum? The nutty short lady that always talked about how she went to SUI and how she was a dancer and stuff. Pretty much anything that happened in her class was hilarious. You, me, Gentry, Swallows...we had some good times in there. Of course you never paid any attention when I was teaching. I remember calling you out in my sex ed class.

Posted by Andrew on Friday, March 31, 2006 at 7:32 AM
[Reply to this]

PJ

R U talkin about Dr. Litherland? LMAO.... and your comment about the Sex Ed, hahahah very funny.... u crazy thing! How r u? I was so happy to see that you were on here.... Everything's cool in the 'Range.... I am just stylin and profiln here at the homefront.... ;) Yeah, we sure had some moments where we just had to almost hold the pee in during that class... and what about when we were peer teaching and Linus was filming and he would make that stupid squirrel noise? Love ya, Andy!

Posted by PJ on Friday, March 31, 2006 at 9:28 AM
[Reply to this]

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BADJOCKS EXCLUSIVE!
Hot Blonde Gym Teacher Pamela Rogers Turner in a Bright Red Bikini as Ms. Monday Nitro in 1997

(THE ORIGINAL PICTURES ARE GONE - BadJocks received it's first "cease and desist" letter from the WWE saying our display of still images of Pamela Rogers Turner as Ms Monday Nitro violated their copyright, so we had to take them down. Sorry! We do have one picture of her on the hog motorcycle below. On the other hand, this website still has the Nitro pictures we first posted. Hmm, must not have gotten their letter yet. Read about her recent release from prison here.)

Shortly after elementary school gym teacher/basketball coach Pamela Rogers Turner was arrested on charges that she had sexual relations with a 13-year-old male student, word got out that during spring break of 1997, she was named Ms. Monday Nitro by the WCW (World Championship Wrestling) during a broadcast from Florida (?). While no one has denied that this happened, no pictures of Ms. Rogers from that night have ever surfaced . . . until now. A loyal BadJocks reader reached into his video archives and actually found the episode of Monday Nitro from 1997 and pulled off five still images he claims are of Ms. Turner. (Please remember, these are stills from an 8-year-old VHS tape, so no cracks about the picture quality.)

In the pictures the woman is identified as Pamela Rogers (Turner's maiden name) and in the broadcast is described as a "college student from Tennessee Tech, where she's studying education, and wants to be a basketball coach." The other people in the picture at the bottom are WCW announcer 'Mean' Gene Okerlund (right) and MTV personality John Sencio. Here's one description of the event I found: John Sencio of MTV was brought out to introduce Miss Monday Nitro, Pamela Rogers, and was followed by a four man tag-team match featuring Lex Luger, The Giant, & The Steiner Brothers against Greg Valentine, Road Block, and The Amazing French-Canadians. The match ended when Giant pinned Road Block after a choke slam. Classic!

If you don't like our version of these photos, here's another web page that has them.

BONUS: The infamous picture of Pamela Rogers Turner on a Harley Hog motorcycle. Caption reads 'Hog-Wild Teacher".

2007-05-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

Extreme Racism

2007-05-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

Hasslehoff Drunk Pissed Wasted on the Floor

2007-05-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my wife for sending me this one :

A MAN
	A MAN IS LIKE DECK OF PLAYING CARD.............. YOU NEED A HEART TO LOVE HIM, A DIAMOND TO MARRY HIM, A CLUB TO SMASH HIS HEAD IN, AND A SPADE TO BURY HIS BODY.

2007-05-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

Potatoes LOL

A blond, a brunette and a redhead escape from jail and
Decide to hide in a barn. As they hear the police closing in, they climb into
the loft and hide in three empty burlap feed bags. A young officer climbed into
the loft, shined his flashlight around, and decided to check the burlap bags. He
kicked the first bag containing the brunette, and she responded with a
convincing "woof". He kicked the second bag with the redhead inside, and she let
out a perfect cat’s meow. "Nothing up here but cats and dogs," the officer
Responded to his superior. Deciding to be sure, he kicked the last bag, the
one containing the blonde. She yelled out "Potatoes!!!"

2007-05-04T17:17:00.001-07:00

A woman went to the GP's group, where she was seen by a young, new doctor.

After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.

Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.

"What's the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded.

"This woman is 63 years old , she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said: "Does she still have the hiccups?"

2007-04-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

Muslim
countries have lower rates of
adultery.

This Public Service Announcement Brought to you by Mullah Homer

2007-04-16T00:46:00.000-07:00

The Loving Wife...

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I

clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60,

perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly

dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his

wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar

detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar

detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched

teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing

your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took

it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of

my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have

your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver

turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband

always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

I love this part....

Only when he's been drinking."

2007-04-16T00:35:00.000-07:00

Don Imus and Nappy Headed Hos

Don Imus On Al Sharpton's Radio Show

2007-04-14T00:38:00.000-07:00

Hunk O Hunk of Burning Love

VIVA FAT ELVIS

2007-04-09T03:29:00.000-07:00

Dude Get over it Iman rules he is far from a racist The media cannot stand Sid and will not rest til he is banned forever.

Imus Calls Rutgers' Women's Basketball Team 'Nappy-Headed 'Hos' | MSNBC Distances Itself

On yesterday's Imus in the Morning radio program (simulcast on MSNBC) Imus referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed 'hos" after the show's producer, Bernard McGuirk called the team "hardcore 'hos."

The transcript [via Media Matters]:

DON IMUS: So, I watched the basketball game last night between -- a little bit of Rutgers and Tennessee, the women's final.
SID ROSENBERG: Yeah, Tennessee won last night -- seventh championship for [Tennessee coach] Pat Summitt, I-Man. They beat Rutgers by 13 points.

IMUS: That's some rough girls from Rutgers. Man, they got tattoos and --

BERNARD McGUIRK: Some hard-core hos.

IMUS: That's some nappy-headed hos there. I'm gonna tell you that now, man, that's some -- woo. And the girls from Tennessee, they all look cute, you know, so, like -- kinda like -- I don't know.

McGUIRK: A Spike Lee thing.

IMUS: Yeah.

McGUIRK: The Jigaboos vs. the Wannabes -- that movie that he had.

IMUS: Yeah, it was a tough --

CHARLES McCORD: Do The Right Thing.

McGUIRK: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

IMUS: I don't know if I'd have wanted to beat Rutgers or not, but they did, right?

ROSENBERG: It was a tough watch. The more I look at Rutgers, they look exactly like the Toronto Raptors.

Putting aside for a second the show's erroneous knowledge of Spike Lee joints (the film in question was School Daze, not Do The Right Thing) the comments recalled a 2001 on-air incident in which Rosenberg said Venus and Serena Williams would have a better shot at appearing in National Geographic than Playboy.

Late Thursday, MSNBC issued a statement distancing itself from the show:

"While simulcast by MSNBC, 'Imus in the Morning' is not a production of the cable network and is produced by WFAN Radio. As Imus makes clear every day, his views are not those of MSNBC. We regret that his remarks were aired on MSNBC and apologize for these offensive comments."

Funny, considering MSNBC was touting Imus' strong first quarter ratings just two days ago.

2007-04-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two
people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both
super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first
one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after
partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss
approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I
have to lay you or Jack off." "Could you jack off?" she says. "I feel like shit."

2007-04-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

Easter Humor

2007-04-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

Chaotic couple divides assets, custody

Chaotic couple divides assets, custody.

Terms of the agreement were not disclosed.

But a statement issued by Michael Sands, spokesman for Federline's lawyer, said, "The parties signed an agreement which was a global settlement on all issues of their marriage and child custody."

The couple have two sons together, 18-month-old Sean Preston and 6-month-old Jayden James.

Celebrity Web site TMZ.com quoted unnamed sources as saying that Federline, who has tried to launch a new career as a singer, will receive $1 million as part of the settlement and that the couple agreed to joint custody of their boys.

A source close to the couple told Reuters the $1 million figure was inaccurate but declined to say how much it really was.

The agreement, which is subject to final approval of a judge, was signed after a five-hour meeting between the couple and their lawyers Thursday in Los Angeles, Sands said.

Sands said a breakthrough in the talks came after Federline, 29, stepped away to smoke a cigarette and Spears followed him outside. They had a 15-minute private conversation, then returned to the negotiating table, he said.

Britney's Security Pulls Gun On Photographer

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 As Britney left a church service last week, a member of her security team threatened a photographer with a gun. via Allie Is Wired

2007-04-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

2007-03-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

Tracy Morgan Great Actor or Drunk out of his Mind.

It's the most hotly contested video around our office this week: Is Tracy just being himself or is he drunk? The votes in the 'he's just acting' column outweigh the 'he's drunk' votes. Maybe he's just still in character after a long '30 Rock' taping. Tell us what you think in the comments.

But does it really matter? Tracy's antics are pure comedy gold either way.

"Somebody's gonna get pregnant!"

Download in .mov format

Tracy morgan Wasted On TV

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2007-03-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

South Park meets Harry Potter so damn Funny LOL

2007-03-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

	True Story...
	A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs." Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True Story...

A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete
standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

2007-03-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

AT THE CARDIOLOGIST'S FUNERAL

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.
A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during
the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the
casket rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When
all eyes stared at him, he said,

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a
gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.

2007-03-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

MOTORCYCLE PATROLMAN

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed
appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs
in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors
hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his
hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so
uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black
letters was the sentence: "Get well quick... from the nurse you gave
a ticket to last week

2007-03-12T00:14:00.000-07:00

How Blonde Was She???

She was Soooooooo Blonde ...
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:'
She wrote "Sagittarius."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application,
She put "Hooked On Phonics."

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said
"Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her
At the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she
turned around and went home.

She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur
Around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio
In the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes
In
Front."

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

2007-03-11T23:55:00.000-07:00

Soldier's Angel Brassy
Date: Mar 9, 2007 7:33 PM

This should End your weekend off with a smile, :))

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

hugs,
Brassy

seans burning ring of fire

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SF Bilss trench

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electric flyswatter+tongue=funny

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dan mazeriks fuck her softly

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2007-03-09T01:08:00.000-08:00

In Honor of St Patrick some Irish Humor

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,

"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to
Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a
group together to go right now."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
again!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replie d, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whis key bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and
looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.
He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the
broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of
blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

2007-03-09T01:05:00.000-08:00

Man and Woman

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold
Mondaymorning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly
neither of them is hurt. God works in Mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man.
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars, there's
nothing left of them, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God
that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest
of our days."

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely; this
must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car
is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle,
and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and
immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them

2007-03-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

Coke or Water

WATER

#1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
(Likely applies to half the world population.)

#2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak That it is mistaken for hunger.

#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as 3%.

#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs

#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

#6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of Water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain For up to 80% of sufferers.

#7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term Memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on The computer screen or on a ! Printed page.

#8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of Colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of you drinking the amount of water You should drink every day?

COKE

#1. In many states the highway patrol carries Two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from The
highway after a car accident.

#2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke And it will be gone in two days.

#3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the Toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, Then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes Stains from vitreous China.

#4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

#5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble Away the corrosion.

#6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola To the rusted bolt for several minutes.

#7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into The baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix With the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

#8... To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke Into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run Through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen Grease stains. It will
also clean road haze from your Windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

#1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric Acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major Contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.

#2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the Commercial trucks must use a hazardous Material place Cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

#3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean Engines of the trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water?

Or Coke?

Quick! Send this helpful info on to your friends Health conscious or not!!!!

Hey I still love My Coca-Cola corrosive or not LOL.

2007-03-06T21:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Dr. Phil

Dear Dr. Phil ,

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.
A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minute later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?
Thanks,

PS Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught

Dear Fisherman,?

Get rid of that narrow minded wife.
That's a nice pair of bass!

DR. Phil

2007-03-03T17:57:00.000-08:00

Have you every had a Nightmare about Being Chased by a Giant Bloody Rabbit?
If So Check this Out You won't sleep for a Week

Digg It!!!!

Herman could be 'biggest bunny'

Herman the giant rabbit

A man has been showing off his gigantic rabbit named Herman.

The mighty bunny weighs a massive 7.7kg, and his ears are a lengthy 21cm - almost as long as most pet rabbits are tall. And he is almost 1m tall.

The German Giant is even big for his breed, which usually tip the scales at around 6kg.

Herman lives in a specially built solid oak hutch and chomps his way through just over 2kg of food a day. His owner says his favourite snack is lettuce.

Click here to find out how to text in pics of your pets

The giant bunny, who lives in Berlin with owner Hans Wagner, also takes a vitamin supplement to keep him healthy, and munches through a bale of hay a week.

Bred big

Herman could be the world's biggest rabbit, but Guinness World Records have stopped accepting entries because of fears people were over-feeding their pets.

German Giants do not exist in the wild, and have been developed by breeders.

They can live for as long as 12 years.

Click here to try the rabbit quiz

2007-02-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

Britney Beats Up a Mini-Van and American Idol Contestant Poses on Toilet Clutching a Maxi-pad
Digg it
Don't you Love this Country

She is soooo sexy when she is mad LOL!!!!

Antonella Barba
This American Idol Has Class

2007-02-22T20:48:00.001-08:00

Out Of Town

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.

I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, and long graceful legs all the way up to her rear end . You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call.

"Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy.

"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?"

She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

2007-02-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

Dog’ the Bounty Hunter loses extradition battle

Federal court clears way for Chapman to be sent to Mexico to face charges

	View related photos
Duane "Dog" Chapman was arrested Sept. 14 along with his son and another associate and released on $300,000 bail. He faces up to four years in a Mexican jail if convicted.

| What's this?

• Woman Says Bounty Hunter's Group Injured Her

Grateful Dead Live at Dane County Coliseum on 1973-02-15 (February 15, 1973)

Description

Soundcheck: podcast Jack Straw, Box of Rain

Loose Lucy, Beat It On Down The Line, Brown Eyed Women, Mexicali Blues, Tennessee Jed, Looks Like Rain, Box Of Rain, Row Jimmy, Jack Straw, China Cat Sunflower, I Know You Rider, Me & My Uncle, Bertha, Playin' In The Band, Casey Jones Here Comes Sunshine, El Paso, You Ain't Woman Enough, They Love Each Other, Big River, Dark Star-> Eyes Of The World-> China Doll, Promised Land, Sugaree, Sugar Magnolia, E: Uncle John's Band, E: One More Saturday Night

2006-12-27T12:07:00.000-08:00

Jenna Jameson Confessions Part 5

Confessions of a Porn Star

Podcast

Jenna Jameson of Confessions Part 5

Description: The amazing history of Jenna Jameson on VH1

2006-12-26T04:26:00.000-08:00

Free Movie Download Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

The Martians Kidnap Santa! Santa's North Pole Workshop! The Fantastic Martian Toy Factory! Earth Kids Meeting with Martian Kids! Space-ship Journey from Earth to Mars! Santa Turn Mars-Robot Into a Mechanical Toy! Plot Outline: The Martians kidnap Santa because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents. User Comments: The best worst awful awesome movie ever!

Download or watch now for free!!!!!
Podcast

Creative Commons license: Public Domain

2006-12-23T18:39:00.000-08:00

Marriage..

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to
forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for
Strength I'll just beat him to death"

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they
find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto
the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps
it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber
at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the fuck up."

2006-12-22T22:06:00.001-08:00

How to tell you have been bad or good!!!

2006-12-18T17:07:00.000-08:00

Nintendo Superfan

Wii-Diculous

"Why have been up 5 days waiting for the Wii to Come out? Have been here since the PS Came out"

"Heelllll NOOOOAAA I been Up 5 days because I couldnt sleep one, and I wanted Wii so badly I do
anything for it and well I been hopped up on Demerol and Grape Soda so thats what kept me up for 5 days."

watch:

Podcast

2006-12-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

OMG too Funny Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart: Executing the Retarded

Watch the whole thing...trust me, it'll bring a smile to your face.
Added on December 10, 2006

2006-12-17T10:27:00.000-08:00

The Biker

A guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge biker standing next to him.

The biker sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says,

"7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each and Turner Brown".
The little guy just faints dead away and falls to the floor.
The biker kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him.

He asks, "Are you Ok??"
In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?"
The biker says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.

"I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown."
The little guy said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said 'Turn Around'

2006-12-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah...well...let's just hope intelligent life exists in outer space.
I'm so lonely here....

2006-12-10T02:27:00.000-08:00

A MAYONNAISE JAR AND 2 CUPS OF COFFEE

When things in your life seem almost too much to
handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill
it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the
jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the
golf balls. He then asked the students again if the
jar was full they agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured
it into the jar . Of course, the sand filled up
everything else. He asked once more if the jar was
full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents into
the jar, effectively filling the empty space between
the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
"I want you to recognize that this jar represents
your life. The golf balls are the important things-
your God, your family, your children, your health, your
friends, and your favorite passions -- things that if
everything else was lost and only they remained your
life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like

your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,
"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time
and energy on the small stuff, you will never have
room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Pray and spend time with God. Play with your children.

Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner

out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be

time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that
really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may
seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of
coffee with a friend."

Please share this with someone you care about.

I JUST DID

2006-12-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more.When he went to harness the reindeer, he found
that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the
fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and
the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and
a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the
elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his
frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot,and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.He went to get the
broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas,
Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where
would you like me to stick it?"

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

2006-12-05T10:30:00.000-08:00

Beam me up, Bitch!

2006-12-05T10:26:00.000-08:00

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

2006-12-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

Stage Hypnotist Gives a Girl the Orgasm of Her Life

Tags:
Orgasm

2006-12-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

Britney Coochie Pics

Britney has been hanging with Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan in Cali and looks worn out kind like her cooch lol. Britney pantyless photos. New Paris Hilton BFF doesn't disappoint. Britney Spears shows her shaved crotch cultivating her white trash slutishness legend grows just a little more. I am sorry for stooping so low and posting this (oh no I am not LOL) but I am a traffic whore. Britney, ok I am a traffic slut girlfriend. I even put together this lovely montage courtesy of Image Shack shameless plug. Well America and every backwater podunk berg in the world with a dail up connection enjoy and no touching yourself while viewing the blog save that shit for MySpace ya pervs LOL.

Technorati tags:britney spears

Go to ImageShack® to Create your own Slideshow

2006-12-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

A Few Quickies....

Body:

Quickie #1

One day, John came home and was greeted by his wife dressed
in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went fishing.

Quickie #2

A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff
or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

Quickie # 3

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
and the other is a husband.

Quickie #4

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's
license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The
optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Quickie #5

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,
"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."

Quickie #6

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain
man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That
afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army
has been looking for Herman for 51 years

2006-11-30T02:15:00.000-08:00

CWVA Forum

2006-11-27T00:15:00.000-08:00

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming.

2006-11-27T00:11:00.000-08:00

Long Ride

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport, " he asked? "Fifteen bucks, " came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

2006-11-27T00:05:00.000-08:00

My Space Top Ten Suck list Video Lmao

2006-11-26T23:57:00.000-08:00

New Hooker

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details.

She said "well, he was a big muscular and handsome marine".

"Well, what did he want to do?"

they all asked.

She said " I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he didn't have that much".

"So I told him that oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either".

"Finally I said, well, how much do you have"?

The marine said that he only had $25.

The new hooker said "well, for $25 all I can do is service you by hand"

He agreed and after getting the finances straight, she said "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then the second hand above the first and then the first hand above the second hand..."

"Oh my god" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge, then what did you do?"

With a big smile on her face, she said.

"I loaned him $75!"

2006-11-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

Three Blondes were all applying for the last
available position on the California Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at
the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be
cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and
pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened
it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a
Detective, you have to be able to detect. You
must be able to notice things such as distinguishing
features and oddities such as scars and so forth."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the
first blonde and withdrew it after about two
seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any
distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has
only one eye!"
The Detective shook his head and said, "Of course he
has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of
his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the
office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde,
stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled
it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything
unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and
exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the
other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of
Course you can only see one ear! You're excused
too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the
office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and
last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of
time, but . . "He flashed the photo in her face for
a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All
right, did you notice anything distinguishing or
unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact
lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the
picture and began looking at some of the papers in
the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a
puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely
right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the
world could you tell that by looking at his
picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well,
Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he
certainly can't wear glasses."

2006-11-23T14:57:00.000-08:00

singing in the shower

A girl says to her boyfriend, "I read a study that said 90 percent of all
men masturbate in the shower and the other 10 percent sing."
"Really?" said the boyfriend. "Yes," said the girlfriend, "and do you know
what song they sing?" "No," replied the boyfriend. "I didn't think so," she
said.

2006-11-23T01:26:00.000-08:00

James Blunt live at Columbus - No Bravery
Never heard this artist before wow! Blew me away
thought I would share. Very Emotional Performance.

2006-11-23T00:40:00.000-08:00

U2 Walk On

2006-11-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

2006-11-21T17:02:00.000-08:00

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson

2006-11-21T16:39:00.000-08:00

Blonde Joke.............

Body: A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started. " Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She

lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over

the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then

turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're

not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything

resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."

He sighed......... "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the

box......."

2006-11-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

Employee Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).

Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others.
We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T)
Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply
for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

Thank you,

Boss in General

2006-11-20T17:09:00.000-08:00

Authorize the Award of the Cold War Service Medal

Sign Petition Here

Join Cold War Veterans Association Today

ELIGIBILITY: The Cold War Veterans Association (CWVA) is a tax-exempt, federally-recognized 501(c)(19) veterans service organization open to honorably discharged veterans and active-duty personnel who served at any time during the Cold War period .. September 2, 1945 to December 26, 1991. (NOTE: RESERVISTS and National Guardsmen who engaged in basic training, advanced training, and/or annual training during this period ARE ELIGIBLE.)

Apply Here Join Us

2006-11-18T23:11:00.000-08:00

Beer contains female hormones

And now, positive proof.Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional.

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary

2006-11-17T18:37:00.000-08:00

Worst 1st Date

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!

We have all had bad dates....but this takes the cake. This just tells you
how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with
Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the
prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day
trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met
before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed
home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did
for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there
came a point when she told him that he had better stop and let her pee
beside the road, or it would be on the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let
her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood
on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman
and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she
felt, despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon
finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme
cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
that, indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her
sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the
situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it
would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place,
both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as
she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants
and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands
down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first
date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment, "This gives a whole new meaning
to being pissed off."

2006-11-13T23:49:00.000-08:00

2006-11-13T23:46:00.000-08:00

A woman went to a Pick & Pay service counter and told the clerk she wanted
a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told
her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager
in front of a growing crowd of customers!

The manager comes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?"
She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that
he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES,
PINCH MY NIPPLES!!!"
and doing so draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads,
"Ma'am, why are you saying that?"

In a huff, the woman says,

"BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE
MY NIPPLES PINCHED
WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!