The Opium Den

Man's Best Friend?

A guy is driving around the back woods of Arkansas and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings
the
bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting
there. "So ... you talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

The guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, and then says "Okay.
So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that Icould talk when I was
pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they
had me jetting from country to country,sitting in rooms with spies and
world leaders; because no one figured a dog
would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for many
years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport
to do
some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening
in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is utterly amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars?!?!?" "But this dog is amazing!
Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a damned liar. He never did any of that shit."